hopefulandhungry

First off-Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers, aunts, grandmothers, special people who are like mothers out there!!!!

Today is a wonderful day and a tough day.  Wonderful because I can honor and celebrate my beautiful Mother, she is the most kind, compassionate, loving and fun Mom a girl could have.  She really is a one-of-a-kind person, she is a registered nurse and has been working for many many years in a nursing home caring for those who can’t care for themselves.  But she doesn’t just work at the nursing home, she is a friend to her patients and treats them with respect and kindness.  I could never approach her job like she does, it amazes me.

I also get to celebrate my other Mom, Donna.  My mother-in-law is wonderful and treats me like I’m one of her own children.  Donna is also someone who is kind, caring, loving, and helpful to everyone around her.  Hubby is a much kinder and gentler soul than I am, and I think I have Donna to thank for that.  She raised 4 sons and did an amazing job at it.  I know that I can turn to Donna whenever I need support.

Today we had a lovely lunch celebrating both of our Moms.  The Seattle weather took a little turn from the warm temperatures and clear sunny skies, but it was still a very lovely day.

My two Moms

The part of today that is tough is that I really thought I would be a mother by now.  I went off of birth control 3 years ago this month and we are still childless.  I look at all of the mothers with their children today and I look at them with envy.  I want to hold a child in my arms and know that I am somebody’s mom, that someone needs me and that I will have the special relationship that my Mom and I have together with my own child.  I read Erika’s post yesterday and it really hit home, she embodies what every person who struggles with infertility feels this time of year.

IVF #3 and my 34th birthday are both coming up.  I’ve started to dread my birthday, it’s just a giant reminder of my biological clock ticking louder and louder.  I’m not getting any more fertile……

Thank you for your encouraging words regarding IVF #3, I keep thinking “most people take 2.2 times to get pregnant via IVF, this has to work”.  I’m trying to get my head into a positive and optimistic place, I truly think there is power in positive thinking.  I haven’t been so positive with our other cycles, it’s my defense mechanism, but maybe it’s time to know that I will survive if it doesn’t work and that I need to envision that it CAN work.  We met with our RE this past Friday to sign consents (Yes, it’s actually been a year since we signed last time).  I’m taking a week off from work in June, so we have a very specific window to work with, my RE is afraid I may not ovulate in time since I’ve been having very long cycles, so I left the clinic with a prescription for letrozole to help get the timing right.  Third time’s a charm……..right?!  xoxo