Sunday evening and this is my life right at this moment and I’m in love! Girls are having so much fun with Daddy, our living room is chaos and I can’t imagine our life before these little ones came along.
I’m savoring my Sunday since I had to spend all day at my office on Friday and Saturday for in-office training for some dental technology that I want to start implementing. In hindsight, I am so glad that I did the training, but I was not looking forward to the 2-day training as I knew it meant giving up almost two whole days with Jemma and Zoe. Hubby took last Thursday off from work, so he was home three days with the girls and I have to admit I was envious. I’m so thankful to have such a hands-on husband, but I wanted to be with everyone at home also!
Right now I’m trying to find the balance in my life-I love being a Mom but I also love my career. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I’m very blessed to have a job/career that allows me to have a three and a half day work week, but I can’t help but feel guilty that I don’t feel I give either place 100%. On the days that I work, I leave before the girls wake-up and get home just in time for a little play time, baths and bedtime. And I’m always the first to leave my office at the end of the day and often leave chart notes for the following morning. Sometimes it feels as though the days don’t have enough hours! I do feel extremely lucky that our daughters are at home with either of their grandmas, but sometimes I feel like I’m missing the little things.
In the past, I use to try to workout 5-6 days a week, these days sometimes my “workout” is taking the girls for a walk around a nearby lake and I’m perfectly happy with these changes. I’m not going to go to the gym after work when it would cut into my valuable time with the girls.
Everyday these girls are changing and growing so much. Tonight they were both sitting on their own and looked like such big girls!
This upcoming weekend Hubby and I are flying down to Arizona for a wedding, Jemma and Zoe are going to spend the weekend at my in-laws. Here again-finding the balance, I’m sad and anxious to leave the girls for the first time but I’m also looking forward to a weekend with just Hubby. We haven’t had much time to focus on just us, it will be nice to have a date-weekend!
I’m down to pumping one time a day since Friday and plan to be done this week. I’ll be happy to not have to spend the time pumping and deal with pumping at work and all of my pump parts, but I do feel sad about it. I pumped longer than I anticipated I would, but I feel emotional about not continuing to make milk for the girls. I can only imagine that weaning from nursing would be even more emotional and tough.
How do you find balance? If you work outside of the home, what is your biggest challenge? How do you deal with Mom-guilt? Work-guilt? How do you make “me” time without feeling like you are being selfish?
***I know this post sounds like a glass-half-empty post and I know that my life is definitely a glass-half-full life. I just read about this Mom who passed away giving birth to her quadruplets and it broke my heart and scared me at the same time. And I know many of you are still struggling to conceive and are thinking to yourself that I shouldn’t even be complaining. Please know that I am trying to find balance but understand that I cannot complain about my struggles.***