Life While Waiting….
I’ve been thinking about my blog a lot, obviously, thinking is all I have done. No writing, little cooking, hardly any baking (except for a work project), no fertility treatments, just busy with life. Since buying my own dental office, I have been very busy with work. I love the new direction my career has taken, it’s kept my mind busy but I also have missed being in my kitchen and spending time writing on here.
I thought I would share a few pictures of some fun things that have been going on.
Teeth cookies
I baked these teeth cookies for baskets I made for the other offices that are in the building my office is located in. I used a premade dry mix for the cookies, but made a homemade butter cream. Every dentist loves sweets! I made some toothbrush cookies also, but they didn’t turn out as expected, so they didn’t make the cut for the baskets.
Ikea cabinets
Hubby and I went to Ikea three times in the past month to look at kitchen cabinets while they were having their 20% off sale. We finally bit the bullet and ordered cabinets that will be installed in my office over the next few months. This delivery to our garage was over 4000 lbs and we still have more items to pick up that were out of stock. Hubby is very handy and will be building them in our garage over the next few months and somehow will be installing them in my office to replace some very old dental cabinetry.
Golf course
Hubby and I were recently in my home town for a weekend. We arrived on a Friday and played golf with my Dad where I golfed as a kid growing up. The weather was a sunny 84 and we had a nice time despite playing terribly!
Bestie Amanda and I
We met up with some friends for drinks while visiting. This is one of my absolute best friends, Amanda, we’ve been friends since grade school and she is a wonderful Mom to two great kids! We grew up dancing together, and then went to middle school, high school and college together.
My baby Maya
Of course, I had to throw in a picture of my baby, Maya, this is her cuddled up on a loveseat in my old bedroom right next to my Pound Puppy that I HAD to have. I won second place in a school Jog-A-Thon, could have walked away with a new TV, bike, stereo, etc., but nope, I left with the Pound Puppy. I don’t think it can ever be given away for the pure principle of how much I wanted it.
Hubby and I are traveling later this month to California for a wedding and then back to our favorite vacation place, Hawaii. Once we return, we’ll be starting up with IVF #3. I’m doing the same protocol as IVF #2, but we have decided to add the growth hormone to the protocol. I’m willing to give it a try, seems like most studies are either positive or neutral, so we figure it can’t hurt. A lot of people I know who have been trying for a very long time have wonderfully become pregnant, it gives me hope that success can follow many failures. I still need to get my head into the game of optimism, faith and positivity!
I’m doing a lot of yoga right now and not following any sort of dietary changes, just enjoying life as much as I can. I haven’t shared anything about my infertility with my new employees, but with the crazy schedule of IVF #3 I will have to share with them soon. I’ll be coming into work late quite a few days to have all of my ultrasound and bloodwork appointments.
I’d love to hear any IVF #3 success stories…..please share!
Truffle Deviled Eggs
Happy Easter!!! It’s finally starting to feel and look like Spring here in Seattle, blue skies, sun and temperatures in the high 60s to low 70s. When the rain does let up, Seattle is one breathtaking city.
Easter is early this year…..but it’s also hard to imagine that it’s almost April. I love Easter, especially the candy. Cadbury mini eggs are my absolute favorite candy…..hands down, no contest! But, I’ve tried my hardest to stick to “no treats/sweets” for Lent, so I haven’t been eating the quantity of candy that I normally do.
But, deviled eggs are another type of egg that I love and I don’t have to worry about breaking my “no sweets” tenet with them. I pretty much love any type of deviled egg, but this one takes it to another level. Add truffle flavor and wowza……I’m in deviled egg heaven. I got inspired to make these after we had Sunday brunch at the Biltmore hotel in Santa Barbara.
Truffle Deviled Eggs
Ingredients:
- 12 eggs
- 1/3 cup mayonnaise
- 1 tablespoon truffle mustard
- 1 tablespoon yellow mustard
- 1/2 teaspoon truffle salt
- 1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1. Fill a large pot with cold water, add fresh eggs, turn heat to high. Once boiling, allow the eggs to boil for about 8 minutes, turn off heat and lets eggs sit in hot water for about 30 minutes. I use to have a hard time getting my boiled eggs completely cooked through, this method has worked well for me. I forgot to do so, but adding baking soda to the water will help eggshells peels off easier.
2. Cool the eggs. (I chilled my in the refrigerator overnight). Peel the eggs and then slice in half, removing the yolks.
3. In a food processor, combine all ingredients above except the egg white halves.
4. Use a spoon (or piping bag if you want to be fancy) to place yolk mixture back into the egg white halves.
5. Top with chives, paprika or your favorite topping (mmm…bacon bits?!)
Truffle mustard and truffle salt
I buy my truffle mustard and truffle salt from a local wine wholesaler, but you can probably find them in any specialty food store. Truffle salt is amazing and versatile-I love to make truffle popcorn!
Piping bag
I used my Bake It Pretty piping bag to fill the egg white halves, use a tall glass to set the bag within to make filling it easier. This piping bag comes with several tips that are amazing for frosting cupcakes.
My chicks egg plate that I use almost every year for Easter
Truffle deviled egg
My parents are over visiting for the Easter holiday. Hubby’s family is hosting Easter brunch for about 15 guests. I’m contributing the truffle deviled eggs, mozzarella/grape tomato/basil bites with pesto and Jessica’s banana carrot cake cupcakes with coconut cream cheese frosting. Check out the recipe by clicking on the link. I’m so excited to wear a dress, be with family and share good food together!
Happy Easter and enjoy your day!! xoxo
Fancy Brunch
On our last day in Santa Barbara last weekend, we had brunch at the Biltmore hotel (where we stayed). This Sunday brunch is well known, the selection is huge and price tag is noteable ($72/person). It’s definitely not somewhere you would eat weekly, but it’s a nice splurge while on vacation.
Hubby and I went for a short run around the area before getting our bags packed and heading to brunch, we should have run 10 miles for all of the food we were about to indulge in.
We were seated outside, it was a little brisk out, but the heat lamps kept us plenty warm and it was actually the warmest day that we had while we were down there.
We started things off right with some fresh squeezed orange juice and mimosas!
The brunch selection was in a separate room off the main dining area and had several stations-an omelette station, salads, seafood, sushi, hot breakfast items (bacon, sausage, waffles, etc), a carving station and lastly a huge dessert spread.
We started off with omelettes, here they are being prepared by the nice chef.
This is plate #1 for me!
I love seafood and love raw oysters, plate #2 was my seafood plate.
When it came time for dessert, it was a little tough (Hubby and I gave up sweets for Lent, but did a little indulging while we were on vacation-we are sinners!). The selection of sweets was enormous. I finally settled on coffee cake and vanilla panna cotta, and shared Hubby’s dipping chocolate for my strawberry.
The brunch was fabulous, we tried to eat enough to get our money’s worth and definitely had enough to eat to get us back to Seattle. But, the true highlight of the brunch was seeing Oprah!!!! I didn’t want to be rude and interrupt her brunch with Stedman and another couple of friends, but Hubby snapped a picture of her hugging another fan, wish it would have been me! She seemed really nice and spoke to people who came up to their table. I never see celebrities, so I was starstruck! Jerry Seinfeld was at the Biltmore on Friday, Hubby saw him but I didn’t. So….if you are ever at the Four Seasons Biltmore, enjoy the Sunday brunch and be on the lookout for the occasional celeb!
On a fertility note-we had a consult with our RE yesterday, I’ll update soon.
California Dreamin’
I’m one lucky girl this weekend, Hubby has a conference down here in Santa Barbara and I got to tag along and stay at the gorgeous Biltmore hotel. Hubby flew down on Wednesday, but being the responsible business owner that I am now, I only took a half day off of work and flew down on Thursday. I had been checking the weather all week leading up to our trip and was ready for sunshine and mid-70s temperatures. But, as you can see from the photo we brought the Seattle weather with us. It’s been overcast and only about 60 degrees, but I’m not complaining, it’s still absolutely gorgeous down here.
Above is our adorable cottage that we are staying in for the long weekend, I could easily spend a month here.
Since purchasing my dental practice in early February, both of us have been crazy busy and haven’t had much down time. Granted, Hubby is in conferences all day, but it’s been nice to get away from home and take a little breather. We are finally getting some systems in place at the office, so hopefully the overly stressful days are numbered. And that is why you haven’t seen much of me in the blogging world. I’ve still been reading your posts and I’m so happy for many of you who are now expecting. I have been doing some cooking, but really haven’t had any extra time to take photos or write posts. I’m hoping this will change soon.
I think I’ve finally turned a corner in my fertility journey. When having lunch with a girlfriend the other month, she told me she is expecting and I didn’t get the sinking, sick, envious feeling that I have in the past. I was truly happy for her without an underlying feeling of doom. I still want it so badly for Hubby and I, but this breather has allowed me to step back and not feel like it’s consuming my life. Hubby and I do have a consult with our doctor this coming Friday and we will hopefully get a game plan for early summer. I’m closing my office for a week in June, so we hope to do our third fresh IVF cycle and be able to time it correctly. Our RE hopefully will have presented our case to the other doctors in the clinic and will have some definitive answers. I do have one fear right now and that is the fact that my ovaries have really been achy lately. I have the endometriomas in both ovaries and I’m afraid that they are enlarging even more, I will ask my RE if she will do an ultrasound at our consult just to see what is going on. It makes me extremely nervous to do stimulation medications again. I know I should be following an enodometriosis-type diet, but I want to live life normally for now, enjoying my decaf coffee and glass of wine.
I hope the sun comes out for the remainder of our trip……..and I hope the sun will shine for what is yet to come.
I’ve missed you all…..xoxoxo.
Chicken Italian Sausage and Vegetable Lasagna
Hello, I’m alive, just been away from the blog for a while. Busy busy with the new dental practice and trying to get my bearings with the transition. Hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s day. Hubby and I went to the sit down location of one of our favorite food trucks here in Seattle, El Camion. I was originally going to make lasagna for dinner at home, Hubby’s favorite, but with the crazy schedule, we decided to go out instead. We celebrated our Valentine’s on Saturday at another one of our favorite restaurants, Seastar, for the February Chef’s tasting menu. We eat out A LOT, way more than we should! But, even with all of this great food, I couldn’t let Valentine’s day go by without making Hubby’s favorite dinner and showing him how much I love and appreciate him, so on Sunday evening I got cooking. Hubby literally will eat lasagna for every meal until the whole pan is gone.
Chicken Italian Sausage and Vegetable Lasagna (with chicken Italian sausage and veggies)
This recipe can be adapted to whatever type of filling you desire-all meat, vegetarian, etc.
Ingredients:
- 9-12 sheets of no boil lasagna noodles, I use Trader Joe’s brand
- 2 cups steamed broccoli
- 1 large eggplant, cut into 1/2 inch rounds, roasted in the oven at 350 degrees for approximately 15-20 minutes
- 1 1/2 jars of marinara sauce (approximately 48 ounces)
- 6 ounces ricotta cheese
- 10 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese
- 3 ounces shredded parmesan cheese
- 16 ounces chicken Italian sausage, removed from casings
1. Steam broccoli and roast eggplant, set aside.
2. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. While preheating, cook chicken Italian sausage through and transfer to a large pot with marinara sauce. Heat to warmed through.
3. Use a large 9×13 inch pan. Start with marinara sauce/chicken Italian sausage on the bottom of the pan, next layer the no boil noodles, followed by ricotta cheese (crumbled on top), and mozzarella. Add a layer of eggplant. Repeat sauce, noodles and cheese and then add a layer of the steamed broccoli. For the third layer, go back to the eggplant. Finish the last eggplant layer with sauce, mozzarella cheese and parmesan.
4. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes, for the last 15 minutes uncover and let the cheese brown slightly. Removed from oven after 45 minutes and let rest for 5-10 minutes before slicing and serving.
No boil noodles from Trader Joe’s
Eggplant ready for roasting
First layer with eggplant
Second layer with steamed broccoli
Final layer, ready for the oven
Hot out of the oven
Lasagna for Hubby
One thing I also love about lasagna is that it makes great leftovers. Perfect for packing in lunches and having a hot meal after a long day at work when the last thing you want to do is cook. This is the last week that I’m working at both my new office and my associate dentist position, I’ll be happy to have some sanity and free time in my schedule again. I’m dying to get back into the kitchen, I promise not to leave you for so long. If you are still in cold weather mode, make this lasagna and warm up!
New Year….New Endeavor
I’m taking a deep breath (aaaaah!), today is the first day this week that I’ve had time to sit down and even think about working on my blog! It’s been busy to say the least.
As many of you have read, I have made some big changes with my career. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a dentist (you can tell me “I hate the dentist” and I promise not to take it personally) and since graduating from dental school in 2006 have been working as an associate dentist in a few private practice offices. I’ve spent the majority of those years associating in a great private practice, working with amazing co-workers and under the direction of my boss whose dentistry is the best I’ve seen. I love each and every person I work with at this office and have learned so much from my boss, but I’ve always known that I’ve wanted my own dental practice. Hubby is an orthodontist and works closer to home, whereas my job is across Lake Washington here in the Seattle area and is far from Hubby’s own office. Our goal was for me to own a place and be closer to Hubby so that we can work together on patients/cases.
Hubby and I have been looking for an office for me for quite some time but kept finding places that weren’t the right fit. Then by a twist of fate, I found an office north of Seattle and it all fell into place. We are still working out all of the details, but I started this week with my new team and patients and can finally say “I have my own dental practice!” It’s been such an exciting week! I’m exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. And I’m so tired but can’t sleep, so I’m glad the weekend is almost here so I can catch up. I’m currently working at my new office but also working a day and a half at my former associate position, so I’m pooped!
I had put off buying an office for a while now because I kept thinking I would get pregnant and it would be too big of a challenge to do both at the same time. However, this whole infertility road has taken much longer than expected and I felt like I couldn’t put my career on hold or stay static for much longer. I absolutely love what I do and even with kids will continue to practice dentistry. With all of the heartache we’ve experienced lately, Hubby and I are going to take a break from fertility treatments. I’m going to focus on my practice, together we are going to focus on living life without the pressure of getting pregnant, and we’ll revisit things in the Spring/Summer of this year. I would love to have 1 day….maybe even 1 hour when I don’t think about our infertility. Infertility is all-consuming and I just need a breath (another one I guess). I’ll focus my energies elsewhere and hope to be happier and in a better place when we get back to our treatments.
Happy Friday everyone!
Bakin’ Friends January
Hubby and I are back from Hawaii and back to the rain and gloom in Seattle. While we were in Hawaii I had a package delivered from my January Bakin’ Friend, Lizzie. This month’s secret ingredient was applesauce, Stephanie over at Steph’s Bite by Bite thought applesauce would be a good ingredient to include for the month of January since most people are looking to lighten up their diets a little bit and substituting applesauce in baked goods is an easy way to do so!
Lizzie sent me Applesauce Chocolate Chip Cookies. The cookies are very moist and the cinnamon and nutmeg gives them a rich flavor that is perfect for this time of year.
Cute card with the recipe
Applesauce Chocolate Chip Cookies
I sent similar cookies to Anne at her Bakin Friends blog. This is my second month participating in Bakin’ Friends, if you like baked goods, I would highly recommend getting involved. Also, it’s always fun to get packages in the mail, especially ones containing yummy baked goods! Check out my last Bakin’ Friends blog post to get the details on joining!
Here’s a link to see everyone’s goodies!
document.write(”);
Kauai & Fertility Update
As you might already know, Hubby and I are on the Garden Isle of Kauai. We are staying on the eastside of the island in Kapa’a, but have ventured all over the island exploring the island. This is our first time to Kauai and so far we like it, but we don’t LOVE it as much as we love Maui and the Big Island of Hawaii. But, it’s still Hawaii and we aren’t complaining and it has been a wonderful getaway after our tough week last week when we found out that our FET didn’t work.
Waimea Canyon
Canyon Trail to Waipo’o Falls
Polihale Beach
Wailua River
Gillin’s Beach at Maha’ulepu Beaches
Plate lunch of Lau Lau/Kim Chee/Ahi Poke at Pono Market
Wailua Falls
Poipu Beach from Marriot
Peanut butter chocolate cookie from Lappert’s
We did have a phone consult with our RE yesterday, I told her that we are seriously concerned that we aren’t going to be successful with the Attain program and she agreed (not reassuring!). She also doesn’t know exactly why we aren’t getting pregnant when we have good quality embryos and my lining has been a good thickness. I asked her if she thought it was more of an embryo quality issue or my uterine environment and she didn’t have the answer. She wants to do the luteal lupron protocol again that we did for IVF #2 and suggested that we could add growth hormone to the next cycle. She also said she would present our case to the other doctors at the clinic and might get more answers of how to help our next cycle be successful.
I have some big career changes happening, so I told her we would be on a break until the spring. She suggested that I start DHEA and CoQ10 in the meantime. Both are usually suggested for older women who have decreased ovarian reserve, but she figured it might help my situation. My RE was realistic that we might be getting the Attain refund and that if we want to continue to pursue active IVF that we go to Oregon or Colorado. We also discussed donor embryos and gestational carriers. Hubby and I have a lot to consider, we really hope life will joyfully surprise us with either IVF #3 or FET #2, but if it doesn’t happen we will address our plan at that time…..I don’t even want to think about it yet.
I’m trying my best to not think the worst yet and to try to enjoy our last few days in Kauai as much as I can. This post will be my go to place when I need a little sunshine on some possibly darker days ahead.
Escape to Paradise
It’s been 48 hours since I received the call that our FET didn’t work and that once again, we aren’t pregnant. Heartbreak yet again. (I’m a little delayed posting this, my beta was Thursday AM PST.)
This is my second draft for this post. After re-reading my first post, I felt like I was giving up hope. And I really really really don’t want to give up hope.
But, I must be honest, I do have some real fears. Fear that IVF isn’t the solution to our trouble conceiving, fear that my body isn’t meant to bear children, and fear that we will have to decide what is next in life to becoming parents and wanting so badly to have children of our own.
Hubby and I are more than halfway through the Attain Refund Program. The Attain Refund Program is a program at fertility clinics where you pay a set amount for 3 fresh IVF cycles and 3 frozen cycles. If, after you have tried and not succeeded to get pregnant with the covered cycles, you get 70% of your money back. But really, is it any consolation? The thing is, you have to go through the program in a certain sequence-fresh, frozen, fresh, frozen, fresh, frozen.
Our first IVF cycle resulted with no embryos to freeze, so we had to forgo our first FET. We went through IVF #2 and just got the negative result for the FET following that fresh cycle, so now we only have 2 cycles left. I am scared……
Hubby and I are on our way to Kauai Hawaii, we were really hoping that this trip would be celebratory, but now we are hoping to relax and focus some much needed time on our relationships and selves. As many of you know, infertility can be all consuming and exhausting. My heart hurts and I hope a getaway to sunshine, salt breezes, and warm weather will help it heal. I know Hubby’s heart hurts just as bad and I hope I can hug him close and that we can help each other hold onto hope. Maybe I won’t be a Mom in the way I had visualized, but I know I can be a Mom in a way that is meant to be.
I’m going to hold onto my first post and read it to know where I don’t want to go. To that shadow of despair where you can barely find the light. I want to be hopeful……
Frozen Embryo Transfer Completed
It’s early over here on the West Coast, I woke up when Hubby was getting ready for work so he could give me my POI (progesterone in oil) injection and have been doing a few things around the house before resorting to the sofa again to stay off my feet. Yesterday was my first FET (frozen embryo transfer), we didn’t have any embryos to freeze with our first IVF and our last attempt at a natural FET was cancelled due to my body not cooperating.
We have three frozen embryos but only decided to transfer one for this FET. We are participating in the Attain program and are trying to be strategic about the program. If (I’m hoping to really emphasize the IF here), we need to move ahead with IVF #3 and don’t end up with any embryos to freeze, we’ll still have 2 leftover for the final FET that would be covered under the Attain program. Also, transferring 2 embryos hasn’t brought us our baby (babies) yet, so we thought 1 embryo would be a little change in the game plan.
Hubby was working all day yesterday, so a good friend of mine took me to my appointment and was there for moral support. I took a 5 mg Valium this time, my fertility clinic doesn’t normally prescribe a sedative for embryo transfer, but I thought it would be helpful to take the edge off. It didn’t do a whole lot, I was just a little woozy, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt. The doctor who did my transfer had a tough time negotiating the catheter, but once in, the transfer went smoothly. Yesterday and today I’m laying low at home, tomorrow I’ll be back to work.
For IVF #1 and #2, I started bleeding before I went in for my blood pregnancy test, so I had asked my RE if I could try POI this time rather than the Prometrium suppositories. Hubby has been giving me my intramuscular injection every day and so far he’s been great. I lay on the bed and bend my knees to make the muscles on my backside as relaxed as possible, the injections aren’t horrible, I just feel like I have pulled muscles at the sites of injection. We’ve been alternating between the right and left sides daily. I heat the syringe under hot/warm water before giving it to Hubby to try to make the oil less viscous.
Our singleton from yesterday:
My beta is scheduled for the 17th of this month, Hubby and I have a trip to Kauai planned for the 19th, I’m hoping that the vacation will be celebratory, but in case it’s not, there’s no place I’d rather be than Hawaii……
Blogs I Follow
Liebster Blog
Bakin’ Friends
-
hopefulandhungry 
