Miracles do happen…..
Today might be one of the happiest days of my life thus far, at least my happiest day in over three years. I had pretty much given up hope, pretty much decided that we would somehow have to figure out a plan to be able to afford a gestational carrier, that 2013 was in fact NOT my year. In this post , I was determined to make 2013 my year and here on December 1st, maybe it will be after all. Today is the first time I’ve ever had a positive blood pregnancy test. After going through the process four times already, I never even had a beta that registered, my number was 0 or below zero (no embryo implantation at all). Well, today my beta is 452! My RE said it’s a strong number, it could indicate that both of our embryos implanted, but that we’ll have to wait and see what the next beta is and ultimately the first ultrasound. I know this is only the tip of the iceberg, but to know that my body is capable of getting pregnant is a huge milestone in our journey.
Unlike my other four cycles, I decided I was going to test every day at home. I usually live in fear of HPTs and just live in this “ignorance is bliss but really know that I’m not pregnant” bubble and wait for my beta test. Usually I know I’m not pregnant because I feel too normal and/or I start spotting or bleeding before my blood test. The first four days of testing, there was one stark pink line, of course I was nervous but knew that they would be negative in the beginning. Well, on 5dp5dt I saw the faintest second line, my heart started racing and I woke Hubby up at 5 AM to make him look at it. Hubby could barely open his eyes, but agreed that he saw a faint line also. I continued to test each day and felt excited to see that second line each day. But, I really wanted to wait until the blood test to know that I am in fact “pregnant”. And for those of you concerned about symptoms, I still feel normal, no sore boobs, no nausea, no fatigue, little to no cramping, however, I might be taking this “normal” for granted soon.
Hubby and I know that this is only the very beginning, we still need to see a doubling of our beta number later this week, hear a heartbeat at our ultrasound, and pray that we will deliver a healthy baby or babies. But, today we celebrate the miracle that is upon us. God is good!!!! Today I can look back and see that this timing may be just right, that if it had worked any earlier, we might be in a much different situation. This journey has made our relationship so much stronger and we know now more than ever that we can’t wait to be parents.
For those of you still on the infertility journey…..don’t give up!!! I almost did and now I can’t believe that I’m writing this post. When it is meant to be, it will happen. We were literally on our last try, and it finally worked. I guess in our case, fifth times a charm! We will continue to pray for our next beta test and for a smooth uneventful pregnancy.
Today the verse of the day on my phone was extremely fitting. “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” Psalm 130:5