Struggles and Triumphs
I’m sure everyone is reading my title and thinking this is a political post. As much as I could talk about politics, I’m referring to the struggles and triumphs in our home. This has been a tough week for me. Everything was going swimmingly with nursing….or so I thought, until this week. I realized early on that Davis was “lazy” at the boob and liked to nibble and hang out at my breast and not actively suck and swallow, but it wasn’t until his two week check up that I thought it was a concern. At his two week appointment last Friday, he was weighing at 7 pounds 3 ounces, still 6 ounces less than his birth weight. Our pediatrician said he should be at least back to his birth weight by two weeks. I nursed him all weekend and finally went to a lactation group the following Monday, at the group his pre-feeding weight was 7 pounds 8.7 ounces and after nursing him he took in a little over two ounces, I was feeling pretty good and felt like things were going in the right direction.
Monday morning I had a follow-up weight check with the pediatrician’s office. He was back to 7 pounds 9 ounces. The nurse I met with said to nurse him for 10 minutes on a side since he tends to fall asleep and follow with pumping to get my milk supply up. Monday night however was when things went south. During the night, when I normally feel really full in my breasts and Davis is usually a vigorous nurser, on Monday neither was happening and I was feeling devastated. He was really fussy as I wasn’t having let downs and he clearly wasn’t getting enough milk. He will usually go for a four hour stretch between feedings at night, but was waking every 1-2 hours since he wasn’t getting much milk.
Yesterday was the toughest day I’ve had since his birth, I was feeling extremely anxious and panicked that my milk has dropped significantly and that he no longer wants to nurse. I cried when Hubby got home because I felt like things were going so well and now everything took a nose dive and I am still confused how my supply and his nursing changed in what seemed less than 48 hours. Hubby is always the voice of reason and said that I’m doing the best that I can and that I need to take it easy, drink lots of water and pump and not worry about everything so much.
Today I was sad for obvious reasons, but I felt better about breastfeeding. I’m still attempting to nurse Davis (even if it’s only 10 minutes), but I’m following each nursing session with pumping and giving him a bottle. I don’t know if my supply will keep up with his demand, but like with our twins, if I can give him even some breast milk I will be happy. I went through this same situation with the girls and I got through it and they are happy and healthy. They aren’t any worse off with being given formula and there is no sense in having anxiety and panic over the situation. I’m going to go back to the lactation group tomorrow and will follow up with a one-on-one appointment next Tuesday with a lactation consultant, just to see what the issue is, but I’m not going to let it devastate me any longer. However, has anyone had a similar situation? Where your milk supply suddenly plummets?
As far as triumphs go….Jemma and Zoe have had a language explosion. They are talking in sentences, using phrases such as “I want….”, “Help me….” and it’s just amazing how much they say and pick up on. They don’t miss a thing and it just amazes me that these small two year old girls know as much as they do. They are also starting to do lots of imaginary play which is so fun. They like to ride on a “bus” that Daddy makes out of our sofa cushions and they pretend to go to the beach, Daniel Tiger’s house, Pete the Cat’s house, and they often have to stop to use their tools to fix the broken bus.
They also have been so wonderful with the new addition to the family. They have expressed any jealously and are so sweet to him. They always want to give him kisses and cuddle “baby brother” and never question how much time I’m having to dedicate to him. Even when I go upstairs to pump, they haven’t whined or cried about it and just say “bye bye Mommy” when I go upstairs. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by their maturity of adding another sibling to the family. I think it helps that they have each other, even though they fight with each other. Typical sisters-not wanting to share their toys, pulling hair, pulling clothes, wanting a certain colored plate, etc.
The girls went trick or treating for the first time this year and had so much fun. They were reluctant to put their costumes on at first, but Hubby bribed them with a piece of candy and after they hit their first house and realized what trick or treating was all about they were ready to hit house after house.
Hope everyone is doing okay, I know it’s been a tough day for many. I want my children to grow up in a world of kindness, love, and acceptance. I hope that the future will show us that these virtues still exist.